"There is no wisdom, no insight, no plan that can succeed against the Lord." Proverbs 21:30
My life has not been an easy one but I'll own it. I'll take responsibility for everything that has happened and will happen. I am fully aware that my plans are not always going to manifest in the way I envisioned them to but I take great comfort in knowing that God's plan always does. HIS plan, is the plan, that matters most - after all my presence is a part of that plan and not my own. I did not, as far as I know, tell my mother to conceive me but HE did. It was probably not my parents plan to have me when they did, however, it came to pass. Why..because no other plan can succeed against the Lord. It took me sometime to understand this. As I stated previously my living..has not been without hardship. I lost my mother when I was three years old on Christmas morning, I would be the one woman out of the group of three that has been raped and abused, and I could go on..but I only reveal those things to show the power of God. I do not believe that He intended me to suffer in the way that I have and it would appear, on the surface, that obviously something did thwart His plan.
"For I know the plans I have for you, declares the LORD, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." Jeremiah 29:11
His plan was not harm me yet I have experienced pain. So I asked...did something change His plan? Did something succeed against it? Then I looked closer...
He did not say..that His plan is to keep me FROM harm but rather NOT to harm me (Himself). God in his humility does not in, any instance even when it pains Him not to do so, take away from us our free will. Whether or not we use it for good or evil..He allows it. Some say this is wrong..that He should stop the evil from being committed but then would there not then be another debate birthed to determined what should or shouldn't be considered evil? In order to comprehend, even a little, why it is better that He not..you must consider who God is. A Holy, righteous, merciful God...even the little "white lie" condemns because He would never ever do it. Honest and just in ALL HIS ways. We accept that He is more wise than we and therefore accept His justice. When I start to think differently, I remember this question He posed to Job verse 38:4-7
"Where were you when I laid the earth's foundation? Tell me, if you understand. Who marked off its dimensions? Surely you know! Who stretched a measuring line across it? On what were its footings set, or who laid its cornerstone--while the morning stars sang together and all the angels shouted for joy?"
I don't know the answers to these questions nor do I know why some of what happened to me did but I do know that it was not HIS plan, though my living and breathing is. He knows far more than I'll ever know about my life and the cause and effect of sharing it with the world. Since it was God that gave me my life, it only makes since that I entrust Him with it. You wouldn't take you car to a baker to fix...you would take it to the person or persons that designed the car...who designed you?
"From one man he made all the nations, that they should inhabit the whole earth; and he marked out their appointed times in history and the boundaries of their lands. God did this so that they would seek him and perhaps reach out for him and find him, though he is not far from any one of us. For in him we live and move and have our being." Acts 17:26-28
"So God created mankind in his own image, in the image of God he created them; male and female he created them." Genesis 1:27
God designed you and He designed and we are here, now, to play a vital role in His plan to bring all of humanity unto himself. Now as it is..I and you I'm sure have endured some degree of pain in our lives and although God did not intend it, He did not stop it and so where does that leave us? I decided that I would turn to God and cling to Him because I was and still am convinced that He will never harm me and furthermore that I am extremely important to Him. I believe that His plan was ultimately for me to be with him and bring as many others as I possibly can; that was not my plan. I had planned to be a wife and a mother, a writer, and poet. He placed these things in my heart on purpose but His purpose and not the one I had drafted. Perhaps I am to give birth something more than just my own children, a life altering idea maybe and maybe I am to be as committed to saving the lost as a wife is to her husband. Only God knows all that He has planned for me to do.
"Many are the plans in a person's heart but it is the Lord's purpose that prevails." Proverbs 19:21
Regardless of what happened or will happen I trust that God will not harm me and I believe that He will do as He planned because He has. He promised to give me hope and a future. He gave me Christ (Hope) and a vision (Great Commission). People in their imperfection, and myself in mine, caused harm to come to me. Decisions that were made along the way both helped and hurt but at the end of the day...God blessed me tremendously though them. I may not be monetarily rich but I am abundantly rich in FAITH. He has increased my faith by adding merit to my pain and substance to the good He does for me. I see Him in everything and it blesses me. I cannot control all that will happen in my life but I know ultimately that God will use it all to benefit me and so I am empowered to take a hold of the unknown and claim it as mine. In every situation I am in control of "me." My body, mind, and heart...are all under my control. I am not forced into doing as they would have me do..I make the decisions. It has not been easy and doesn't always feel good. Trusting God is a FIGHT but it's an important one. I have to fight everyday and I don't always make the right decision but I always try to do what is best. I pray that God is glorified and that someone may see Him in me and draw nearer to Him. If just one person does...than His plan has served its purpose and came to fruition in me.
"So Christ himself gave the apostles, the prophets, the evangelists, the pastors and teachers, to equip his people for works of service, so that the body of Christ may be built up until we all reach unity in the faith and in the knowledge of the Son of God and become mature, attaining to the whole measure of the fullness of Christ." Ephesians 4:11-13